This morning I hit rock bottom and when I say rock bottom I mean I ended up under the rock.I got up this morning and made my family homemade blueberry pancakes, sausage, and scrambled eggs. I ate two pancakes (very little syrup-- not a fan, some eggs, and one piece of sausage. After eating I sat at the table not feeling great and a light bulb went off~~~~ This is how I used to feel every time I ate when I was pregnant. Now don't worry I KNOW I am not pregnant so I tore through the hutch to find my old sugar meter. See through all 3 of my pregnancies I was VERY bad gestational diabetic. I am talking specialists and insulin shoots several times a day. My body stopped producing insulin while I was pregnant yet after giving birth my body would bounce back.
I am not going to talk about all the details but needless to say I knew then I needed to lose weight and take better care of my body. Fast forward two years after my last child was born..... the last few months I have felt off. When I say off I mean tired ALL the time, no energy, no drive. I am thirsty NON stop and just have told my husband something is wrong. Well that something hit be hard like a rock today.... After breakfast my sugar was 245..... one hour later 283, two hours later 300!!!! If you don't know about sugars.. ALL those numbers are bad and I mean VERY BAD.
I have spent all morning crying. See we are a one income family and my husband is the one that works. We love his job but it is a mom and pop place with no benefits. I am a full time college student and have three kids. The last time I checked on purchasing insurance I was quoted $475 (lowest) a month PLUS a $50,000 deductible. I am high risk because of my weight (250)...... well let me just tell you there is no way we can afford that and keep a roof over our kids' heads. I feel like a failure.... a failure to myself, a failure to my kids, and a failure to my husband. I knew this was coming if I did not do something to change my life around. Don't get me wrong I did change things.... all sodas have been banned from my kids (always have been), adults can not drink them in my house either. I drink water all the time and we have started eating better. Thats was not enough and I knew it was not enough.
I am worried. I don't know what to do or where to turn right now. I know I am not going to give up and I know where I have to go from here (up) but I am not sure I can. I have hit rock bottom and the only place to go is up. Just needing support, prayers, and motivation to turn it all around.
(((hugs))) I feel ya! I'm practically there myself. I believe the solution is to dig deep inside yourself and work through the reasons. Pick one of those excuses and work to defeat it this week. It can't all be done at once. You can do this. Rock bottom is sometimes a good thing. It gives you a rock solid foundation upon which to build yourself back up. Hang in there!!!!
ReplyDeleteOh sweetie, I'm so sorry. Big hugs. I don't have advice, but know that I'm sending love and support your way. You can do this.
ReplyDeleteSending hugs and prayers!
ReplyDeleteSending hugs and prayers!
ReplyDeleteI am very sorry Jessica. Being and extremely fluffy gal myself, I've always feared becoming diabetic. As for the insurance aspect, I'm sorry to say that I don't have any advice, though I do know someone who helps with that. Maybe it's worth checking into. As far as knowing what to do, maybe this is the "a-ha!" moment that will motivate and propel you into making the changes that will last. I'll be sending up prayers. ♥Anita
ReplyDeleteSending my love to you.
ReplyDeleteHugs and a wish for patience with yourself. It sounds like you got a huge wake-up call this a.m. You have been around these Mamavation parts before... put what you remember back to work. Baby steps to keep from being overwhelmed. You already have the water part down... if you have sugar level issues then make your next baby step something like the consistent eating through the day to avoid the extreme fluctuations if you are not already doing that. Good luck with the health front, especially without current insurance. Do you have access to your school's clinic with any subsidy?
ReplyDeleteYou already know all about low glycemic living. That is huge because what you learned in pregnancy is very similar to what we do in Mamavation right now. We put the moms on a low glycemic lifestyle. they are also told to eat more often. We treat as if they are insulin resistant right off the bat and mostly that's because if you have allowed your belly to get over 35 inches chances are you are sensitive to blood sugar fluctuation. The studies are pointing that it may be somewhat permanent, but it can lessen over the years. Basic take-away. You just need less processed foods and more cooking from scratch without loads of grains and sugar. Kia brought up the idea of us having a low glycemic 101 soon and I think that is a fantastic idea.
ReplyDeleteAwe hon-hang in there. I was just going to suggest what Bookieboo did. Maybe start with eating your diabetic diet that you used during pregnancy and check your sugar regularly to see if that is helping. If not that maybe you need to find the funds to go to the doctor. As expensive as it will be-your kids need their momma more. I often have to have that talk with myself. I would never hit or my kids, or be mean to them, or treat them bad-So why would I do that to the most important person in their life-their momma. So sometimes that pushes me to make the better needed choice, to fight for them!
ReplyDelete*hugs*
ReplyDeleteI am sending prayers and love your way. Maybe if you can, meet with a nutritionist or some other more natural remedy inclined doctor to figure out a great game plan to get your sugar levels under control and keep them there.
Hugs!!!! The ladies above offered some good advice!
ReplyDeleteThe plus I get from this one is that you figured it out and didn't sit idly by wondering what the problem was. I don't know how to help except to tell you that we're here to support you!!
ReplyDeleteSorry that you are at such a slow place, but realizing what is going on and having this community to back you up is a step in the right direction. I know it may not be easy, but know that we are here for you and want to help you succeed.
ReplyDeleteso sorry to hear that girl. Keep your head up and keep pushing. Sometimes hitting rock bottom is what we need and that motivation comes back. It is not a good thing to let ourselves get to where we do but we are human and things happen. Now that you know and you seem like you are wanting ot make the change its great. Keep your head up and know that you can always turn to any of us and we can help!! We are all hear for eachother!!
ReplyDeleteI can completely understand where you're coming from huns. I've battled with weight all my life, and I'm currently at my heaviest. My fiance is the only working as well, and it's SO hard to survive on one paycheck. But, I know we both can get through this. :)
ReplyDeleteI truly hope things get better for you. :) You deserve it! I know you don't know me personally, but I'm a great listener. Feel free to message me anytime.
*Hugs*
Thinking of you!