Hit Rock Bottom

So if you have been following my blog you know I struggle with my weight. The motivation is on and off again and I guess boils down to psychologically I have not wanted it bad enough. I mean truly if you want something bad enough nothing is going to stop you. Instead I find excuses NOT to work out everywhere. I am a very busy person.... there is no denying that, yet I know I could find a way if it mattered to me enough.

This morning I hit rock bottom and when I say rock bottom I mean I ended up under the rock.I got up this morning and made my family homemade blueberry pancakes, sausage, and scrambled eggs. I ate two pancakes (very little syrup-- not a fan, some eggs, and one piece of sausage. After eating I sat at the table not feeling great and a light bulb went off~~~~ This is how I used to feel every time I ate when I was pregnant. Now don't worry I KNOW I am not pregnant so I tore through the hutch to find my old sugar meter. See through all 3 of my pregnancies I was VERY bad gestational diabetic. I am talking specialists and insulin shoots several times a day. My body stopped producing insulin while I was pregnant yet after giving birth my body would bounce back.

I am not going to talk about all the details but needless to say I knew then I needed to lose weight and take better care of my body. Fast forward two years after my last child was born..... the last few months I have felt off. When I say off I mean tired ALL the time, no energy, no drive. I am thirsty NON stop and just have told my husband something is wrong. Well that something hit be hard like a rock today.... After breakfast my sugar was 245..... one hour later 283, two hours later 300!!!! If you don't know about sugars.. ALL those numbers are bad and I mean VERY BAD.

I have spent all morning crying. See we are a one income family and my husband is the one that works. We love his job but it is a mom and pop place with no benefits. I am a full time college student and have three kids. The last time I checked on purchasing insurance I was quoted $475 (lowest) a month PLUS a $50,000 deductible. I am high risk because of my weight (250)...... well let me just tell you there is no way we can afford that and keep a roof over our kids' heads. I feel like a failure.... a failure to myself, a failure to my kids, and a failure to my husband. I knew this was coming if I did not do something to change my life around. Don't get me wrong I did change things.... all sodas have been banned from my kids (always have been), adults can not drink them in my house either. I drink water all the time and we have started eating better. Thats was not enough and I knew it was not enough.

I am worried. I don't know what to do or where to turn right now. I know I am not going to give up and I know where I have to go from here (up) but I am not sure I can. I have hit rock bottom and the only place to go is up. Just needing support, prayers, and motivation to turn it all around.

Losing 100 Pounds of Me

So in 2010 I joined the Mamavation community. I had found a great group of ladies that supported each other and helped each other to become the moms they needed to be. After all most of us want to keep up with our kids which means being in shape. That year I was voted in to being a Mamavation Mom.... What is that you may ask? Well taken from their site:

Mamavation Moms lose weight in a boot camp experience without having to leave the home. They are set up with support, tools, and professional coaches to help transform mind and body on this journey. As they are learning healthy living and losing weight they live their lives on a stage for seven weeks. The campaign becomes a virtual docudrama with real challenges and victories as they become the stars of the campaign.

I could not have been happier but life got in the way. As a blogger I was going to New Orleans for a few days of fun and blogging connecting with others in Mamavation and Blogging world, but in a "real life" setting. Two days before leaving I was in a car accident (husband driving) and although it was not bad it was bad enough. Then In New Orleans I felt 'off' I blamed it on the rigid schedule of being in the Mamavation boot camp. I know I was not pleasant to be around and lost friends during this trip. Less than a week or two after coming home I realized this was more than a bootcamp/weight loss problem..... I was pregnant!

This was a severe shock to me as I was taking birth control very adamantly I might ask. I was not happy as I had lost around 50 pounds or so since joining Mamavation earlier that year. I also was not ready for a third child..... but God had other plans. I had to drop out of the Mamavation program and focus on an impending child and a failing marriage. Right at two years later I can say I have a wonderful daughter and a stronger marriage..... I am also back up to the high weight of 250!

I have decided I am done.... It is time to have a new me! I recently messaged Leah (@bookieboo)
to ask if I could come back to Mamavation and she simply asked me to write a post, link up, and come back. I was so happy at this second chance. So here it is:

I am back up to 250 but I am determined to lose the weight needed and be a healthier mom for my kids. This time I am not alone in that my husband will be on this journey with me. Soda is out of the house and water is the thing we are drinking. I need all the help I can get though. This is why I asked to join Mamavation again. I am a competitive person.... I do best when I am in that scenario and when people are cheering me on and pushing me harder. I am asking for that again Mamavation please help support me and I will you. I WILL not let you down.

“This post is sponsored by Schick Intuition and hosted by Mamavation – a community dedicated to obesity prevention & weight loss for women and I’m writing this to be entered into a giveaway”

Mamavattion Application: I need your help!

Mamavation™ is a social experiment and weight loss campaign in social media with the goals of teaching moms healthy living lifestyle choices so they can share with their family. Mamavation™ is a two part campaign: (1) a virtual healthy living boot camp for two moms and (2) the home of the first virtual healthy living sorority in social media, the Sistahood™ . As a healthy living bootcamp, Mamavation™ is an opportunity for two moms (Mamavation™ Moms) to change their lives together by entering into a 7 week healthy living boot camp created to give them the tools they need to succeed. The will receive a professional nutritional plan created by a physician that specializes in nutrition, Dr. Renna, and a fitness program created by Tracey Mallett. They will also receive a treadmill from Smooth Fitness, Earth Footwear, an EA SPORTS Active, Tracey Mallett and Tae Bo DVDs. The program is managed by @bookieboo, with the goal of teaching moms how to live life better. The Mamavation™ campaign plans to give them the tools they need to succeed, in hopes that they will create a healthy lifestyle for themselves and their families.

The campaign will unfold on Bookieboo  where the Mamavation™  moms will keep a daily food/exercise journal. They will appear on Mingle Media TV Network every Monday at 7pm PST/10pm EST as well. The Mamavation™ Moms will also be expected to post about their Mamavation experience on their own blogs every week and be available on twitter to talk about their experiences and inspire everyone. In addition, they will do a vlog every week chronicling their journey losing weight. The purpose behind all this "work" is to INSPIRE others. The Mamavation™  Moms are challenged with losing weight and learning healthy living and inspiring other moms to do the same.

How will the moms be chosen? Good question. The Mamavation™ Moms will come from Twitter. Applications are being accepted March 22nd to April 1st. Then 5 moms will be chosen as finalists and will go up for a vote for a week. And the people will choose who the moms are. Voting will commence from April 5th to the 12th. Each of the five moms will have to ignite their own campaigns to get votes. The Mamavation™ Moms (2) will be announced on April 12th with a twitter party. (Use the hashtag #mamavation.) We hope you will support us by posting our banners on your site. Mamavation™ campaign #4 will go from April 13th to May 28th.

During the campaign, we would love to have your support. Tweet the Mamavation™ Moms with encouragement. Let them know you support them as they go through this process. It's going to be the beginning of a new life for them, so they will need all the love and support they can get. Join the Sistahood™ ! The first virtual healthy living sorority in social media. Support other moms as you are learning healthy living or yourself and your family. You can also come join us on Mamavation TV every Monday night at 7pm PST/10pm EST.

Mamavation™ was created, owned and operated by Bookieboo LLC. The campaign accepts monetary compensation for product placement, sponsorships, and advertisement. Bookieboo LLC has an affiliate relationship with PeteCohen.tv. Mamavation™ is trademarked & copyrighted, 2010.

Please note I have never vlogged.... I will get better I promise. Give me a chance and share this journey with me!

I really want to be the next Mamvation Mom. I need support and help for this to work! Do you want to be one of my support teams? If so leave me a comment here and if your on twitter please tweet this:

"Hey @bookieboo! I want @all_about_savin to be the next #Mamavation Mom. She has my support!"

For anyone that is willing to be my 'cheerleader' I will have something special ,if I am picked, for you!